Whether you have lost a loved one through a passing to spirit, divorce or separation, or by them leaving to take up a different path in life, crystals can provide a secure support on which to rest and through which to express all the emotions that will be flooding through you, as Judy Hall explains…
Crystals eventually bring you to safely to a calm place of acceptance and forgiveness without by-passing or suppressing any of the very necessary stages of grief. One of the most potent healing gifts you can give yourself is forgiveness for any perceived wrongs or failings on either side.
Although everyone grieves in their own way and some people are internal, not showing their feelings openly, while others find it impossible not to show how they feel, there are five universally recognized ‘stages’ of grief:
1 DENIAL — ‘IT’S NOT HAPPENED’; HE/SHE WILL COME BACK
It’s difficult to accept the loss at this stage. Emotions rage out of control flying between anger and despair to hope and back again. It is healed by accepting ‘yes, this is happening. I can move through it and accept that how I feel is neither wrong nor bad. It just is.”
2 ANGER — WHY ME? IT’S NOT FAIR; HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN TO ME?; ‘WHO IS TO BLAME?; WHY WOULD GOD LET THIS HAPPEN?
This stage is often projected out onto those around the person who has suffered the loss. The anger needs to be clearly expressed and forgiveness sought where necessary.
3 BARGAINING — NOT SO APPARENT WHEN THE LOSS IS THROUGH A DEATH BUT A COMMON RESPONSE TO SOMEONE LEAVING
Offering to give something up or to change, rather than being who you are will not heal this stage.
4 DEPRESSION — I’M SO SAD, WHY BOTHER WITH ANYTHING?; I MISS MY LOVED ONE, WHY GO ON?
At this stage isolation is sought as the person mourns deeply. Sadness is a natural part of grief but comfort is available. Crystals do not try to ‘make it better’, they support you while you grieve.
5 Acceptance — It’s going to be okay, I can move forward in my life
Calmness returns, emotions become more stable. A future is glimpsed, the present moment accepted.
While going throught these stages, there are a number of crystals that may prove useful to you…
1 Sugilite: ‘the love stone’
Sugilite is a great support in times of grief. It reminds you to love yourself and be kind to yourself and to those around you. A lightbringer this is one of the premier stones of forgiveness. It dissolves hostility and encourages sharing mutual support. A strongly nurturing stone, it comforts you when you feel all is lost and helps you to reach a calm, peaceful space in which to heal.
It traditionally protects your soul from shocks and trauma and clears disappointment from your life. Hold it over your heart or your third eye whenever you feel despair. It will fill you with love. Most importantly, Sugilite teaches you how to live from your own truth.
2 Mangano Calcite: calling in the angels
A sweetly loving stone, Mangano Calcite is for when you feel all is lost and you need angelic help around you to lift you out of the pit of despair. A natural trauma clearer, it heals your wounds and helps you to face the future with equanimity finding hope in the darkness. It is particularly helpful if there has been a traumatic and painful breakup as it helps you to acknowledge the causes and let them go.
If you have shut down emotionally, this beautiful stone fills you with unconditional love and opens your heart once more. If you feel that you can never heal the past, Mangano Calcite will show you that this is not so. It helps you to face your pain, embrace it and then let it go, filling the empty space with gentle loving inner joy.
3 Rose Quartz: the heart healer
Rose Quartz is the stone par excellence for healing a broken heart. It helps you to forgive where necessary, to find love for yourself as well as others, and fills your whole being with loving support and spiritual nourishment.
Surround your bed with Rose Quartz if you need a quiet, supportive space in which to express your feelings and find healing.
4 Ruby in Zoisite (Anyolite): going for it
A stone of transmutation, Ruby in Zoisite is especially helpful during the grieving process. It facilitates releasing pain and sorrow. When you want to stomp and rage, this stone understands and says ‘go for it’.
The stone offers spiritual comfort and encourages you to regain your passion for life without shutting off your deeper feelings. It also enhances your compassion and encourages you to share mutual support with others who may be going through the same grieving process.
Ruby in Zoisite helps you to remember your soul plans for the present incarnation and the lessons you intended to learn. It is a very positive stone and it assists in seeing the good and the joyful in the present moment, no matter how dark that may appear. It keeps you centred so that you do not over-react to situations. Zoisite is a heart-centred stone and with its help you can give thanks for the happiness you had and catch a glimpse of the bright future that is beckoning you on.
5 Ruby in Moonstone: for stepping through pain
This dynamic combination is excellent for healing hearts broken through loss and grief. It helps you to step through your pain and to develop compassion for yourself and others. Anger is one of the recognized stages of grief and Ruby in Moonstone helps you to traverse this stage, expressing your feelings openly instead of suppressing them. It also helps you to forgive someone for leaving you.
6 Indicolite Quartz: for acceptance of right timing
Gentle Blue Indicolite Quartz has strands of Blue Tourmaline within it. The synergy of the stones releases blocked feelings and helps you to speak about them. It offers comfort and gives you insight into the deeper causes and consequences of grief and loss.
This beautiful stone teaches that no one ever mourns alone. It accesses a multitude of spirit guides and helpers who gather close to assist a soul who has been left behind. It also reminds you that, while the body may die, love and the soul do not.
Indicolite Quartz also teaches that death occurs at exactly the right time for a soul, no matter how inopportune it may appear. It says that the soul has learned its lessons, or the karma of grace has come into operation, gifts have been developed and the soul has headed home. And the stone is there to comfort those left behind.
7 Apache Tear: for cleansing grief
Apache Tear is the gentle clearer form of Obsidian. It is the perfect receptacle for your grief and for the emotions that accompany it. It accepts any negative feelings and transmutes them into positive beneficial vibes, holding a safe space for you to grieve.
This is a stone of protection that wraps around your heart to give you the space you need to heal. If you feel hollow inside, it will protect that space until you can once again fill it with love.
8 Amethyst: for spiritual protection and connection
Amethyst dispels fear and anxiety and alleviates sadness and grief. It helps you to adjust to any loss you have suffered, absorbing pain and grief and offering spiritual protection and comfort. It allies you to your spirit guides and helpers. But Amethyst can also open your psychic senses and help you to communicate with a loved one who has moved on when the time is right.
Place Amethyst on your third eye to open your inner sight and reach out to the other side. Your guides and helpers will assist if you ask them to.
9 Ruby in Kyanite: for when you are ready to move forward
This dynamic and yet soothing combination helps you to express your feelings and let go the past. As Ruby is a powerful heart healer, it encourages you to revive your passion for life and seek a new forward path.
Kyanite cuts through any anxiety, stress and indecision that may be holding you back.
10 Fire-Opal: for kick-starting the future
Fire Opal is an ancient symbol of fervent love. It helps you to see that as you have loved in the past, so you can move on and love in the future. It doesn’t mean that you forget the past, but you heal the grief and move on, bringing a fresh passion into your life.
It makes you feel positive about the future, opening you to the joys life still has to offer. If you need to make the shift to a positive outlook, wear vibrant fire opal.
About the author
Judy Hall is an astrologer, past life therapist and crystal pro who has authored more than 40 MBS books, including the renowned The Crystal Bible. She has also penned Crystals from Hay House’s basics series of books.